My emotions have been dissected, filleted, and put on the table for all to see. How scary it is to release the cork of suppression and allow my emotions to be free; all of them. You know the ones: hurt, pain, despair, rejection, resentment, abandonment, shame, guilt, lack, not good enough fucking feelings.
I surrender today so I can live for tomorrow. I have too. Today, right now, I can allow myself to love me and then I can love others. When all of the emotional stuff was there. I wouldn’t or should I say couldn’t feel. When I allowed myself to be in the oneness with God during this process, I broaden my horizons. And experienced zones I never thought of before.
My physical body feels free to express life as me with no limits and that is kinda of freaky to me. There is always a price to pay, something to give up or sacrifice. With God in my life, I can open up to those deep dark feelings. The places where I don’t allow anyone see me. The places that are hurtful to others but most importantly, to me. I can sometimes be more hurtful to me than the sum of all my hurt…way deep, huh?
I had a powerful realization. If I am stuck. I am keeping me exactly where I am; stuck. That’s what my journey helped me realize. When God holds me, my mind melts and becomes one and my inner soul connects with this feeling. I feel my light from within shinning so incredible bright began to radiate outward…making my outer image beautiful. My Spirit invites all to see me as I wake up. Look at the incredible woman I’ve become today.
All of this has allows me to ride the elevator up a few floors. My spiritual self has soared to unmentionable heights. Through this process I found the spiritual truth. A truth that all begins and ends with me. That’s where my control is. By removing blocks, by remaining open, and for being willing. I open my soul up and allow myself to dance freely with the stars. I love where I am today. I just love it and I love the Universe for loving me through it. What a sweet blessing life is. I embrace it and allow gratitude to consume me. How yummy and sweet life is. And so it is.