Embrace Change

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Embrace Change.

If you are among the majority of us, letting go of what is no longer serving you and embracing the things that add value to your world can be rather challenging.

Especially when dealing with difficult life changing events. It is usually quite hard to let go and move on, but once you do so, you will feel free and realize it will prove to be the best decision you ever made.

Changing direction can be a fearful and painful process.

However, you must never allow fear to determine your future. Fear stands for, False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear exists only in our minds. Yes, it can be difficult to follow your heart when you are paralyzed by fear, but don’t allow your fears to deter you.

Use fear as a stepping stone to take you where you intend to go. Hold your head up high and utilize it for all it’s worth. Keep pushing. Some of us wait to make a move when change is involved. We wait for the perfect time before we take the first step.

Let me say this, there is no perfect time to change.

Oftentimes, the only choice you have is to let go and allow faith to take you where you need to go, because where you are is more painful then not changing. You realize that life is too short to wonder what might have been. You simply choose to be happy.

Take a moment and reflect on the fact that you are not the same person you were a year ago. You are in a different space today because you may have chosen to embrace change. Accept that you are always growing and expanding. This is the beauty of life. We get to become better than we were before each and every day.

And as we better ourselves, we become better to the people around us.

If you have not already done this yet, I encourage you to make a list of the changes you need to embrace in your life. Write down whatever or whomever is no longer serving your highest good. Remember, you are the only one who will see this list so be honest.

Write in great detail how you plan to make these changes to better your life. Once you have compiled your list. Work on it everyday and check off each completed change. Don’t worry too much if you have to stay on an item a bit longer than the others.

We all know that change takes at least 30 days to take root before it becomes a habit. The satisfaction is in making a sincere attempt. I wish you the best of luck in embracing change.

 

imageTynya R. Beverly is a Public Speaker, Spiritual Practitioner, and Ministerial Intern at the Center For Spiritual Awareness located in West Sacramento, California. Tynya is a premier sought after motivational speaker. To book Tynya R. Beverly to speak contact her at trbeverlyspeaker@gmail.com

Simply Talking About My Feelings

imageMy emotions have been dissected, filleted, and put on the table for all to see. How scary it is to release the cork of suppression and allow my emotions to be free; all of them. You know the ones: hurt, pain, despair, rejection, resentment, abandonment, shame, guilt, lack, not good enough fucking feelings.

I surrender today so I can live for tomorrow. I have too. Today, right now, I can allow myself to love me and then I can love others. When all of the emotional stuff was there. I wouldn’t or should I say couldn’t feel. When I allowed myself to be in the oneness with God during this process, I broaden my horizons. And experienced zones I never thought of before.

My physical body feels free to express life as me with no limits and that is kinda of freaky to me. There is always a price to pay, something to give up or sacrifice. With God in my life, I can open up to those deep dark feelings. The places where I don’t allow anyone see me. The places that are hurtful to others but most importantly, to me. I can sometimes be more hurtful to me than the sum of all my hurt…way deep, huh?

I had a powerful realization. If I am stuck. I am keeping me exactly where I am; stuck. That’s what my journey helped me realize. When God holds me, my mind melts and becomes one and my inner soul connects with this feeling. I feel my light from within shinning so incredible bright began to radiate outward…making my outer image beautiful. My Spirit invites all to see me as I wake up. Look at the incredible woman I’ve become today.

All of this has allows me to ride the elevator up a few floors. My spiritual self has soared to unmentionable heights. Through this process I found the spiritual truth. A truth that all begins and ends with me. That’s where my control is. By removing blocks, by remaining open, and for being willing. I open my soul up and allow myself to dance freely with the stars. I love where I am today. I just love it and I love the Universe for loving me through it. What a sweet blessing life is. I embrace it and allow gratitude to consume me. How yummy and sweet life is. And so it is.

The Christmas Blues

imageI am beginning to notice a grumbling amongst my colleagues these days. Folks all around me seem to be very stressed about the holidays. They are consumed with participating in the best retails sales online and in the store, buying the right gifts, decorations for the house, apprehension around big family gatherings. I thought the Christmas season represents happiness and togetherness. For some of us, it can also be a difficult time. I heard a friend say to me today that she has the Christmas blues. I laughed at her and said you have to be kidding, right? She said no, every year around this time she gets really depressed and sad. She said it is a mixture of feelings that may include sadness, depression, loneliness, a loss of self-worth, and anger.

I did a little research and found out that there is such an animal as the Christmas Blues. There are many reasons a person may get the blues. Here are several to ponder: financial difficulties, relationship problems, big move to an unfamiliar place, new job, sick loved one or death in the family. The blues could be brought on by a multitude of life challenges. The blues can also be brought on by everyday stresses. You may feel as though you are the only person in the world going through this, but you are not alone. Many people experience Christmas Blues every year.

Here are a few suggestions that may help you with Christmas Blues:

  • Talk to someone – Connect with a friend, family member, therapist or a spiritual adviser. You need an outlet to express what you are feeling inside. By talking to someone you take the power out of the very thing you are hiding from the world.
  • Volunteer in the community – You could look for ways to share your time and talent with those less fortunate than yourself. There are plenty of places in the community that could use your assistance. Helping others takes you away from your troubles. The experience may assist you in your healing process. Something happens to you when you bring joy to the life of others. In a Universal kind of way, you reap some of the joy as well.
  • Take a Break – This could be taking time off work to hang out with family or friends, spending time alone, going on a short retreat “Day-cation.” Where can you go to have fun or to simply just be?
  • Be honest – The holiday season can be very expensive. Be honest with yourself about your ability to make purchases. You may not be able to give your loved ones every present on their list. Give gifts from your heart that has the potential to be amazingly meaningful.

By reframing how you think about the holidays, you can get through the season without agonizing. We agonize when we are not meeting our own or someone else’s expectations. You have to change your view of the holidays. Let go of expectations that are no longer serving you. Let go of having to have the biggest and the best presents. Let go of trying to make the house and the dinner perfect. Let go of trying to make everyone happy. Start by making yourself happy. Do you! No matter how selfish it sounds, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else. If you are feeling resentment this holiday season, it is time for a change. Don’t forget to focus on all the things that make your heart sing and dance. You will be better off for it and so will those around you. Happy Holidays!

Time To Unplug

imageWe all need time to to unplug and reflect. Depending on what you are going through will determine the amount of time you need to unplug. Unplugging could be just taking a few hours to catch your breathe or taking a long vacation or retreat to get away from it all. There are formal retreats where you are guided in your process. There are retreats that are informal that you or a friend could facilitate. The important piece here is that you recognize when you need a time out.

Giving yourself time to reflect can be a powerful way to process life experiences that block you from being your best you. Only you can choose how your reflection time will unfold. If you go on a retreat, choose processes that work for where you currently are in life. Most retreats are a place for some serious soul searching and reflective work. You may find yourself going deep within yourself to seek out much needed answers. Be prepared to utilize various tools and processes that will assist you on your journey.

Meditation, prayer and journaling are a few tools that can be used in the retreat process. Talking a walk near water or a day hike in the mountain is a fabulous way to connect with your soul. It could also be a day of pampering or “me” time. When you put yourself in retreat mode, you can explore and prepare for your next steps. Also, when we pay attention to what the Universe has in store for us, we open up our hearts and minds to the amazing insights and understandings of our soul.

Mediocrity, Is Just Enough Okay

Today, I went to a local coffee shop to meet a friend. As I sat and waited for him to arrive, I began to check out the employees and their interactions with the customers. A female employee caught my eye. Her body language made a statement and it screamed, I don’t want to be here. It was obvious she was bored and not happy that she had to be at work. Her interaction with customers was ok at best. I watched as she walked back to pour a cup of coffee. The cup tipped over and coffee went everywhere. She made a few negative comments in front of a customer. The customer was not very happy with her behavior and made the statement, “Seems like you really don’t want to be here.”  The employee responded, “I really don’t and I would rather be somewhere else.” The customer took her coffee and replied, “Thanks for the mediocre service.”

I said to myself, mediocre? Wow! She was right, it was mediocre service. Why are we satisfied with mediocrity? Why are we ok with being barely enough? I had to ask myself, what was really going on with this young lady? Why was she so discontent with her job? Where’s the gratitude that she had a job and is able to make a livinimageg for herself. I know a few folks who would love to have that job.

Why are we ok in America with mediocrity? Everywhere I look, people want to only do what is easy. When I think of mediocrity, I think about little league softball. Don’t get me wrong, I support our little ones being recognized for a job well done, however, we recognize everyone for doing an OK job. Everyone gets a trophy; even when they don’t deserve one. I am told the reason for this is to build self-esteem. My issue is that when we start with our kids at a young age this gives them the impression that it is ok to be so-so. Then as they grow up, they do just enough to get by and have an expectation that they are going to get a trophy every time. We are setting up false expectations and setting them up for failure. Mediocrity in our culture is celebrated, while great accomplishments are sometimes ignored or down-played because we don’t want to “show” someone up, or toot our own horn. This is often perceived as arrogance.

It was Andrew Carnegie who said, “People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents.”

Personal excellence is a better teacher. I call it personal excellence because it varies for all of us. I am not expecting anyone to be a Michael Jordon, but I do expect people to do their very best. Ordinary is everywhere. I challenge you to step outside of the pack and rise up beyond what is expected. Rise up beyond the norm and excel. You co-create your world. What does that look like? Are you ok with mediocrity, as in, just doing enough? I challenge you to go the extra mile and expand your capacity of achievement. You may be surprised with the results. Once you experience excellence your taste for mediocrity fades and can no longer exist in your world. You will never tolerate it again.

The Universal YES

Each of us is born with a big Universal YES inside of us.

This YES is all-encompassing and fears nothing.

This YES is willing to try anything and is not afraid of failure.

This YES includes unique gifts and interest that are woven in to our DNA.

Remember when you were a child and had that “I can do anything” attitude?  Sure you do because we all have it or should I say, we had it. The problem is that as we start to grow up we let fear take control. The opinions of other people is usually the basis of our fears. Fear starts asking questions like. What if I fail? What if I look foolish? What if no one cares? And fear starts telling you that you do not have the right skills, you do not have anything unique to contribute, or that you really have nothing to contribute at all. Fear holds your inner Yes in a cage and holds your life hostage. We forget the Universal Laws of Abundance and Attraction. The Universe will never say no to our request.

Think about a very young boy. Give him a box of crayons, he starts to draw. Give him blocks and he starts to build. Sit him in front of a piano and he starts playing. Now, maybe he scribbles on the paper, instead of building he is simply stacking the blocks and just banging on the keyboard, the point is fear of failure has not caged his Yes. He is open to exploring and trying new things with all the enthusiasm his little heart can muster. If someone set you in front of a canvas with paints or at a piano today most likely you would say “but I don’t know how to paint” or “but I can’t play the piano.” Maybe you can’t, but maybe you can. That funny little thing called practice works wonders, but only after you get over your fear of failure.

I used to love to paint as a child. I even took art classes when I was young, but then I stopped. For years (decades) I did not draw or paint. I forgot how much I enjoyed that creative release. I had to learn to let go of the fear of a blank canvas and release my creative YES all over again. Are my paintings the quality of a Picasso, Rembrandt, or Warhol? No they are not. They are the quality of “ME”, and that is all that matters.

The YES is more than just the artistic side of you. It is also the practical goal minded side that yearns for success. Your YES wants to make things happen. Your YES wants to be challenged, to grow, and improve. Maybe there is a project at home that you want to take on, maybe there is something at work that needs to be improved. Don’t just sit by until someone else does it. Put together your ideas (the what, the why, and the how) and approach it with everything you’ve got. You may be pleasantly surprised how receptive the Universe responds.

Unleashing the YES is moving down the road to fulfilling your highest potential. Successful people let their YES roam free. They share their passion with the world and they stop letting fear limit what they can and ultimately what they can’t accomplish.

Your YES is multi-dimensional and multi-faceted. Your YES is the true you; your authentic self in all your glory. It has been inside of you your entire life waiting for you to face any fears you have. Unlock the cage! Let your YES boldly stand out. Share the awesomeness that is uniquely you with the world. This is your purpose in life. To bring to the world all that you are.

Self-Esteem: Understanding The Importance

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Self-Esteem

You can’t touch it, but it affects how you feel. You can’t see it, but it’s there when you look at yourself in the mirror. You can’t hear it, but it’s there every time you talk about yourself. What is this important but mysterious thing? It is your self-esteem.

All people have a mental picture of themselves; their strengths and weaknesses. This mental picture is called self-concept or self-image. It is formed through learned experiences beginning at birth. Self-esteem is the value judgment or degree of worth a person attributes to their self-image. Self-esteem is considered an important component of emotional health, self-esteem encompasses both self-confidence and self-acceptance.

Self-esteem and self-image are related to how people behave in society, perform in school, react to peer pressure, and interact with others. Having high self-esteem, or liking yourself and feeling confident that you can solve everyday problems, is generally seen as positive. Having low self-esteem, or disliking your self-image and feeling you have no choices or influence regarding everyday problems in your life, is generally seen as negative.

No one is born with a self-image. The experiences and interactions you have with other people, especially family members, causes you to develop an internal picture of yourself and thereby placing value on it. Thus, this becomes your self-image. It may not be your true self-image, but it is what you have become accustomed to.

Importance Of Self-Esteem

Anyone who thinks self-esteem is not important should simply Google the word. You will find that there are millions of web sites on all things regarding self-esteem. There are questionnaires, self assessment tests, programs, etc., all related to building one’s self-esteem. The Department of Mental Health has pages on their web site specifically dedicated to self-esteem. It is located under mental health on their site. It is vital for your mental health to have a healthy dose of self-esteem.

What Is Self-Esteem

What is the definition of self-esteem?

  • Webster – belief in oneself, undue pride in oneself
  • Oxford – good opinion of oneself

To understand self-esteem, it helps to break the term into two words. Let’s first take a look at the word esteem. Esteem is a fancy word for something that is important. It is valuing a person or a thing. For example, if you really admire your friend because he volunteers at the fire department on weekends, it means you hold him in high esteem. And the special trophy that is often given out for the most valuable player of the game is often called an esteemed trophy. This means the trophy stands for an important accomplishment.

The word self means, well, yourself. Put the two words together and you now see what self-esteem is. It is how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It’s how you see yourself and how you feel about your achievements. Self-esteem is not bragging about how great you are. It is more like quietly knowing that you are worth a lot. It’s not about thinking you’re better than others or perfect (because none of use are) but knowing that you are worthy of being loved and accepted exactly as you are.

How Is Self-Esteem Formed

It starts when you are born and it continues on into adulthood. Some studies say that it starts in the womb, as a baby in the womb resonates with their mother’s vibration; loving vibrations, positive vibrations, and negative vibrations.

Why Is Self-Esteem Important

It is part of being a healthy, wholesome person. People with a high self-esteem have the ability to be joyful, hopeful, creative, set goals, achieve said goals, and contribute to humanity in some profound way. Most of us measure our self-esteem via things that are external to us. For example:

  • How do I look
  • Do people like me
  • Do my colleagues think I’m a team player
  • Did I get praised by my parents

The above criteria for assessing self-esteem are not in and of itself wrong or right. Of course you need the acknowledgement of others to confirm and bolster your self-esteem. However, if your self-esteem is based solely on these external criteria then you are in trouble. If you continually rely on other people to make you feel good, then you need ever-increasing doses of approval from others to keep you going. If you are without a firm foundation of your own self-worth your self-esteem will be knocked down quickly and easily.

When someone or something knocks down your self-esteem there may be a tendency to blame someone other than yourself and play the game of “if only.” If only such and such would happen or hadn’t happened then you’d feel better and things would be ok. High self-esteem comes from knowing what qualities and skills you have that you can rely on. It comes from setting realistic and achievable goals knowing that you can reach them, rather than attempting to accomplish everything. You can’t really point yourself in any one direction, since gaining and developing self-esteem is a life long journey. Upon leaving high school with your diploma, you are not given a platter of self-esteem. It’s a process and is developed over time.

Self-esteem isn’t like a cool pair of sneakers that you just love to have. Having high self-esteem is important because it helps you to hold your head up with dignity and to feel proud of yourself. It gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes, and, when you respect yourself, you respect others too. Having high self-esteem is also the ticket to making good choices regarding your mind and body. If you think you’re important, you’ll be less likely to follow the crowd when your friends are doing something dangerous. If you have high self-esteem, you know that you’re smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safely, your feelings, your health; your whole self. High self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.

How Do You Get Self-Esteem

A new born baby does not view themselves in a good or bad way. They don’t think ‘Wow, I’m awesome” when they let a big burp or worry “Oh no, this diaper makes my legs look fat.” No, it is the people around the baby that help her or him develop high or low self-esteem. How? By encouraging the baby when it learns to crawl, walk, and talk. When people love and care for their babies, this helps both the baby and the parent feel loved and valued. As we become older, we take on a bigger role in developing our own self-esteem. It is all part of learning to see yourself in a positive way, to feel proud of who you are, and to be confident being you.

How Does Low Self-Esteem Impact Our Lives

Low self-esteem causes one to not think very highly of themselves. People with low self-esteem often criticize themselves very harshly, and don’t always feel good about themselves or think they are important. It is perfectly alright to have up and down days, but feeling unimportant is not ok. Feeling unimportant can cause sadness and prevent you from enjoying life. Having low self-esteem comes from venturing out into the world and finding your place in the sun. Having strong self-esteem is also a very big part of growing up. As you face tough decisions (the higher your self-esteem) it is important to feel you are worthy and confident because you already know you will get through whatever comes your way.

If you think you may have low self-esteem, try talking to someone you can trust about how you are feeling. They might be able to help you formulate ideas for building your self-esteem.

If you would like a free PDF regarding building your self-esteem. Contact Tynya R. Beverly at trbeverlyspeaker@gmail.com.